KNITS

Knit make me happy... Working on a sweater using manos el uruguay. So excited! Need/want to update ravelry.

July Update

So I'm happy today.

I tweeted all the happy things. @foxanalog
Also I get to use my new planner now that starts in July.

Being positive is awesome.

Also trying to be less stressed in general. I hope my yoga videos I order arrive soon. :3

Also lace knits. I should post pictures. But so lazy.

I want to get my netbook working. Because this laptop is old and nothing works right.

The wireless card doesn't work right, so I have to DSL is up. The battery doesn't really charge any more, so I have to keep it plugged in. The SD card refuses to recognize anything I put in it. Says everything is corrupt when it works on other computers. This computer is old, yo.

And I keep thinking maybe I will find motivation to finish my incomplete, but it keeps not happening. I have been avoiding my school email because I am afeared of angry emails from my professor... T-T

But yeah. Lacey knits.

<3

Post graduation update

It's the end of June and I'm not sure where this summer has gone. In theory I will be relocating to STL at the start of July, but that will probably be delayed due to complications with life. So I've been spending my time knitting and crafting and thinking about what comes next.

Which could be anything really. Lately I've been thinking about getting my education masters. Because I don't have any idea what I will do whit this anthro and religious studies degree if I don't go to graduate school. I'm really not feeling very qualified for anything. I know I need to send more time looking. And lots of things are making life complicated. Mostly money and also health stuff and just general lack of motivation.

I have done things! Even if I don't feel like I have.

Sigh. Should post pictures of what I've been working on eventually. :3

Interesting Excerpt on Fanfiction found during research!

“Media-Based Fan Fiction

Another genre, focusing on romantic/erotic relationships between male pairs, builds on both romances and male buddy stories. Noncommercial, media-based fan fiction centering around male-male relationships is written, privately circulated, and read almost entirely by women. Typically, two heterosexual buddies are drawn reluctanty into a homoerotic relationship based on their shared work. Their love is passionate, tender, egalitarian, and adventurous. It is unique in their community, not part of a homosexual subculture.

                The meaning of this genre to its audience is difficult to discover. Direct questioning of fan-writers elicits such answers as “I like men and if one is good, two is better” or less comprehensibly, “if one of them was a woman, there would be housework and who wants a hero washing socks?”

                Clever scholarly indirection, however, uncovers an interesting sidelight on the readers’ attitudes toward gender. This genre eschews female heroines. In fact, the fan community cautions new writers against creating a “Mary Sue,” a heroine wannabe who makes herself ridiculous by attempting too much: she is scornfully characterized as “saving the universe six times before breakfast.” Another tradition is that of the female minor character who “unfairly” thwarts a hero, as did T’Pring of Star Trek, whom some fans angrily characterize as a “bitch.”

                It would not be going too far to say that this woman’s genre, which is supported by a women’s community profoundly friendly to women, is actively hostile to female characters. Arguably, this genere gives women a chance to imagine having it all – adventures, status, primacy in hand-to-hand combat, and one true, egalitarian, all-satisfying love – precisely because it gives readers a chance to avoid thinking about women’s lives. Heroines are eschewed and villainesses jeered because the presence of female characters threatens the fantasy about egalitarian partners who are adventurous, technological overachievers. Women authors seem to find the “I want it all” fantasy impossibly daring for female characters; they project it onto male characters. Female images are there only to be transcended and left behind.”

Kray, Susan. “The Things Women Don’t Say.” Chapter 4, Science Fiction, Canonization, Marginalization, and the Academy”  

I found this and it made me really happy. I'd never thought about looking at fic this way, but I think it is very insightful. It makes me wonder what she was reading, who she was talking to, and when. :) Wish she would have told us what fandom she was referencing... they are all so different!! 

Also 21 Days till graduation...

"Waiting for the month of Come What May..."

39 Days Til Graduation

Righty-o, its crunch time!

I've broken out my hour-by-hour excel document calender to try to keep me on track today... Because my to do list is infinite and my motivation is hovering right about 0 degrees Kelvin...

But it really isn't helping. I've spent five hours doing god knows what and three hours sleeping. and two hours working on productive things. In the last ten hours.

BAH.

FYI

I did not get my Fulbright. :(
I (probably) did not get enough funding to do SEASSI this summer
I will (probably) be deferrring my admission to NIU until 2014-2015
So that I can (probably) move to San Diego. Or (possibly/I hope) go to Cambodia again.

That is where my life is sitting right now.

39 days, ladies and gentlemen. 39 Days. I can do this.

I hope.

Even Otters have to learn how to Swim

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eFTyjKYgCXA

So this humanities Class...

I knew this was going to be a pain... But I am so sick of writing. Like. the writing isn't even that hard once I sit myself down and make me do it. My friend in class recommended writing it in a blog first.

Well, lets see how this goes.

I really don't like the waste land by TS Eliot. Can I start there? I don't like how it does not make any sense. I listened to this reading of it to try to make it make more sense. but it only sort of helped. It was nice because it broke up the speakers so I could tell more easily when there was a transition. And because it showed emphasis and such. but idk. I get that this is supposed to be all fancy and modern and the fact that it is confusing and breaks from tradition is supposed to be all awesome and exciting and part of what makes it so revolutionary. But I don't like it. I don't like the break from tradition. I don't like that it is supposed to be reflective of the modern world. I guess maybe thats because I don't much care for the modern world? Or something? Maybe its too meta and self-referential for me. I've been reading the spark-notes too to try to understand what the fuck is going on. Maybe I'll listen to it again. Sigh.

Part One: The burial of the dead
Caucer,

And then there was more random langauge. Part Two
This one is my favorite. It actually makes sense to me!! Unlike teh first one...
I like the image of the beautiful house and the zooming in on the items around, reminds me of that one old movie about the old lady movie star... whats that movie called...Sunset Boulevard. that one. <3

Then it switches to a sketchy lower-class pub. Which I can totally imagine. Just like I can imagine a crazy rich lady. What is up with the JUG JUG... sigh. Things I don't understand.

CRAZY RICH LADY IS CRAZY

Also bitchy lady is bitchy. who is she talking to I wonder?


Part Three
"white bodies naked on the low wet ground..."

Lots of death and old age and suffering...!

derp, derp, derp... And then there was an old lady. Maybe I need to look at the lolcats one again. *sigh*

My attention span is like zero for this stuff. I can't focus on it.

ewwww, carbuncular. I looked it up and  its either a ruby or pustulating sore. Why would one word mean both of these things?

Who is Tieresius...? sigh. don't care. 


Part Four

Part Five
What is the deal with the rock and the water and all this shit? It must be all symbolic or something.
I don't like it still. Its so stuff and not original. It reminds me of hipsters where they try really hard to make shit that doesn't make any sense. Maybe it would make more sense if I had more context.

If we look at it as part of the hero's journey... its a confusing journey. With many voices. Many perspectives. Much self reference but through non-traditional means.

It makes me want to read these Anthropological stuff its supposed to be based on.

This poem has lots of gross and weird imagry. Lots and lots. Of death and ...more death. by water or fire or whatever. Then there were zombies and other things. war and unhappiness and infidelity. 

SO MUCH DEATH.

So what is the horror? Rock, water, death, the unknown, the expectations, the evils of the world, the confusion, the lack of structure or understanding, even for the reader.